Top 10 Funniest Viral Videos of 2009

10. Korean Touch My Body

Video came out late in 2008 but cracked me up all 2009!

9. LAB ISTORI!

This has to be the year of Asians makin a fool of themselves with viral videos, even the title is fuckin hilarious LAB ISTORI!

8. Taylor Swift is a Dirty Girl

Taylor I'm happy for you...but your dirty version of "You Belong to Me" is the best version ever!

7. Manny Pacquiao Singing on Jimmy Kimmel

MANNNNNNNNNNY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

6. David After Dentist

Who doesn't like laughing at kids on drugs?! :58 second mark is classic!

5. The Office Wedding

The Office may have ripped this off of JK Wedding...but then again they rip off anything pop culture, I actually prefer The Office version.

4. Tiger Woods Slow Jam

Dam what a horrible year for Tiger! Was it really worth gettin all that ass to lose millions of dollars?!

3. The Hangover End Credits

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, nuf said!

2. Jersey Shore Fist Pump

This was the year of the fist pump celebrated by you douche bags! Hope I don't see you in 2010!

1. Drunkest Guy Ever!!!

#1 goes to the drunkest guy ever! Gravity is a BITCH ain't it?!

HAPPY NEW YEARS! HOPE TO SEE MORE FUNNY SHIT IN 2010!

A Little Late: Flyers 3 PENGUINS 0... Pens lead series 3-2

It was the makings of a party in Pittsburgh. But if you think for one second that the Stanley Cup playoffs was easy, you are a moron. The Flyers came to play and tonight was proof. I'm disgusted, but you have to give credit where credit is due. The Penguins came out flying in the first period, but Marty Biron stood tall. The Flyers struck first on a huge slapper by Arron Asham. The Pens got a bad break as a puck was kicked in by Evgeni Malkin nullifying a goal. Two more goals in the third and it spelled doom for Pittsburgh and a horrible trip back to Philadelphia for Game 6.

Everyone was a minus in this game. No one stood out. The Flyers simply outplayed, outworked and outcoached the Penguins.



Sickening...

Furious Fleury: PENGUINS 3 Flyers 1... Pens lead series 3-1

After game 3, if there was one Pittsburgh Penguin who needed a huge game it was Marc-Andre Fleury. Tonight, he was simply stellar. He robbed Philly of about a handful of goals tonight and the Pens are just one win away from the second round.

The first period, the Pens seemed thoroughly outplayed, but Fleury stood on his head the entire period. Saving everything, plus getting help from Mr. Post. 0-0 after 1.

The second period gave Pittsburgh an early momentum shift in which Sidney Crosby scored falling down after a penalty kill. Clearly a goal before the net came off. Huge momentum goal there! A few minutes later, the most consistent line of the series so far struck again as Tyler Kennedy scored on a backhanded shot after a pretty feed from Matt Cooke. Once again Fleury stood tall as well as the penalty killing was magnificent. 2-0 Pens after 2.

The third was simply survival mode. I hate that. The Pens need the killer instinct. Fleury had it though, but his shutout ended after a bad clearing attempt by Kris Letang that led to a goal. The final eight minutes was what playoff hockey was all about. Great stick work by the Pens D, a strong goalie, and timely shifts. Maxime Talbot ends it with an empty netter to seal the win. 3-1 Penguins.

The Pens have a chance to close it out on Thursday. There should not be any way this goes back to Philly on Saturday. The Penguins have an opportunity to get some rest and wait for an opponent. However, you can never count this Philly team out. Yes they're annoying and full of assclowns, but they do work hard and a desperate team is a dangerous team.



Plus (+)
Marc-Andre Fleury: AMAZING Performance. Best since Game 5 of the Finals last year.
Staal/Kennedy/Cooke: Line chips in again. Best line thus far in the playoffs.
Sidney Crosby: Faceoff wins plus a huge first goal
Penalty killing units: Philly goes o-fer out of 8 chances. Solid job

Minus (-)
Evgeni Malkin: Where was he tonight?
Power Play: Another disappearing act tonight. Can't let that happen in Game 5.
Petr Sykora: When you're struggling (and get a gaping net and miss) YOU ARE STRUGGLING!


Get It Done Thursday!!!

They Came To Play: Flyers 6 PENS 3... Pens lead series 2-1

It was a game the Flyers HAD to win. After such a deflating OT loss two days ago, they were a desperate team, and in the playoffs, no team is more dangerous than a desperate one. The Penguins had their chance, but Philadelphia just capitalized on many mistakes.

The thought of recapping the entire game of a Penguin loss just makes me sick so I'm going to do it in a nutshell. The first period had the Pens getting the first real scoring chance of the game, but didn't capitalize, then the Flyers came out firing... Jeff Carter and Mike Richards quickly made it 2-0. However, before the end of the period, Dan Bylsma puts Max Talbot, Ruslan Fedotenko and Evgeni Malkin on a line and capitalize... 2-1 End Of 1

A few seconds into the 2nd period, the sound of doubt came over the Wachovia Center as Rob Scuderi of the Pens scored to tie the game. It should've been a momentum swinging goal, but Philadelphia showed some resiliency and Claude Giroux scores on a pretty pass that just left Marc-Andre Fleury horribly out of position. Then the backbreaker, the Pens shorthanded and too cute with the puck and Philly scores shorthanded. Ouch. 4-2 End of 2.

The nail was placed on Pittsburgh early as the fourth line struck for Philly. Brooks Orpik gets a stick in the face and bleeds. Geno puts the game closer with a power play goal, but Simon Gagne's empty netter seals it for Philly 6-3.

Horrendous game for Pittsburgh. However, amidst all the mistakes they made, they still had a shot to win this game. Game 4 is now an important "SWING" game. Philly wins, its a best of 3. Pittsburgh wins, plug will be pulled on Thursday.



Still at 14.

Why I'm A Fan: PENS 3 Flyers 2 OT. Pens lead series 2-0

Game 2 at Mellon Arena was one of those games where you felt proud and excited to be a Pens fan. The kind of exhiliration knowing that one save possibly saved the series being tied at one. And then capitalizing on it by tying and winning the game. If this game doesn't demoralize the Flyers, I don't know my own name. Just the sheer effort and work by the Pens equalized an even harder effort by the Flyers after a Game 1 played so poorly by them. I would've paid top dollar to be a fly at the wall at Mellon Arena.

You knew immediately that the Flyers were going to come out better and harder. However, early on the Pens still seemed to be the faster, more skilled and yes even more physical team, but Malkin hit the post early and the Flyers capitalize on a power play redirect by resident ass clown Scott Hartnell. 1-0 Flyers at the end of 1. Easily could've been 3-0 if it wasn't for Fleury. Philly had some momentum having the lead for the first time.

The second was more of a waiting game when the Pens were gonna score. They had some nice chances but either missed or Marty Biron was a little quicker. Then Dan Byslma stacked the deck, putting Malkin, Sidney Crosby and Billy Guerin on a line, which capitalized on a beautiful odd man rush with the goal scored by Guerin short-side Biron. Just a beautiful setup! The period ended 1-1.

The third started horribly for the Pens allowing a garbage goal by third liner Darroll Powe which Fleury should've saved. I just felt like the Pens were still in it if they got on the power play. Before the festivities though, the most amazing save of the playoffs thus far was made by Pens goalie Marc-Andre Fleury. On a 2 on 1 break, Flyers star Jeff Carter puts a backhand pass to Joffrey Lupul which he saved and with a gaping net, Fleury makes an unbelievable right toe save with his body completely in the opposite direction. Save of a lifetime. I immediately thought the save on Mikael Samuelsson in Game 5 of the Cup finals last year. But they needed to tie it and after Jordan Staal draws a penalty, a new look Pens powerplay capitalizes with a goal off of Evgeni Malkin's foot. Tie game and overtime.

The OT was everything it lived up to be. Every rush was entertaining and the building thought the Flyers had momentum when the Pens got called for a penalty, but as they killed it, Philly's lack of discipline costs them as they took back to back penalties in overtime to put them 2 men down. All that happens next is usual playoff goat Billy Guerin coming through with the OT winner and chills going down my spine. Pens win 3-2 in overtime and take a HUGE 2 games to 0 lead heading to Philadelphia.





The Penguins have got to capitalize and put their foot to the Flyers' throats this Sunday. I can't think of a worse way for Philly to lose. They had this game in the bag, and let the Pens crawl back and steal it.

Plus (+)
*Marc-Andre Fleury: Amazing game. The saves that kept the Pens only down 1 was nothing close to legendary status.
*Bill Guerin: his status as a playoff choker is slowly fading away.
*Jordan Staal/Tyler Kennedy/Matt Cooke line: Tons of energy tonight. Great work. Staal is a beast!
*Evgeni Malkin: Most quiet 3 point night though, but sometimes it shouldn't always be so flashy.

Minus (-)
*Ruslan Fedotenko/Petr Sykora: Did they know the playoffs started?
*Hal Gill: I always think one of these days Hal's slow skating is gonna burn the Pens in a game. I'm always on edge.

Game 3 in Philly is gonna be hostile, but we gotta pull the plug on this team early!

Let's Get Physical: PENS 4 Flyers 1... PIT leads series 1-0

Most of the experts who picked the Flyers to win the series were banking on their more physical presence and nature to beat the more shifty and finesse Penguins. Boy, the outcome of today's game disproved that prediction (at least for one game). The Pens set the tone early with a Chris Kunitz hit to Kimmo Timonen that obviously rattled and bothered him the entire game. It was the shifty Penguins who was hitting more and making life miserable for everyone wearing orange and white. From Brooks Orpik, to Craig Adams, they were hitting anyone in their vicinity. The first period tally was scored by Sidney Crosby, who in my opinion really needed to make the first true statement to this series. The goal was reviewed but it stood. 1-0 Pens after period one.

The second period proved my notion that Jordan Staal needed to be a presence in not only this series but the entire Stanley Cup run. Though he only had one assist tonight; a 3 on 1 goal by Tyler Kennedy (1st ever playoff goal), he was everywhere! He had countless opportunities to score but just missed, he backchecked, played physical and used his long reach to his advantage. The man should've gotten a star tonight. 2-0 Pens after two.

The third was a tale of the ever popular momentum. The Flyers apparently had gained some back at the end of the second and beginning of the third, but then Mike Richards hit the post and the game stayed at 2. Then a ghastly error by Philly which made things worse that the NHL's scoring leader Evgeni Malkin capitalized on the turnover and made it 3-0. Blowout central was on four minutes later as Mark Eaton of all people scores from the point after a Crosby faceoff win. The whole Kimmo Timonen injury was actually a focal point on that goal. The man just did not look comfortable out there and the puck ended up behind the net. Philly scored a meaningless goal on the power play late, and typical Flyer antics: gooning it up. First Arron Asham and Andrew Alberts start slashing and roughing guys, then Ryan Parent cross-checked Staal to the boards. Then Billy Guerin of the Pens had enough, fighting Braydon Coburn. Oh don't forget, Mr. Ass Scott Hartnell got ejected too. Needless to say it was a tactic that will carry over to Game 2. Hope it didn't phase the Pens one bit. Penguins win 4-1 and lead the best of 7 series 1 to 0.

Plus (+)
*Jordan Staal: Best player on the ice tonight.
*Marc-Andre Fleury: Made some difficult saves routine. Seemed to have his "A" game tonight.
*The grinders (Adams, Dupuis, Talbot, Cooke): Great shifts from them. Matt Cooke was a pest all night. Adams had a hell of a game. Dupuis had some great chances. Talbot was excellent in the PK.
*Sidney Crosby: Nice to see him make the first statement on the scoresheet

Minus (-)
*The Power Play: Needs work. It's to cute. They need to keep it simple. Too predictable.
*Petr Sykora: Where art thou Sykie?
*Hal Gill: Horrible turnover on the Philly goal. You can't give these guys any opportunites.

Good win, but put it behind you! Game 2 is Friday, and its gonna be tougher and more physical. I expect the Flyers to correct their mistakes and try to steal one in Pittsburgh.




We Gotta Ways To Go!

Philadelphia Flyers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins Round 1

It's one thing to be excited about being in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. It is even more exciting knowing you'll be playing one of your hated rivals. This is what we have here. The battle of Pennsylvania is known to always be a knockout drag with both teams countering with physicality and even more hatred. Of course there is some history. Let's open our history books shall we

1989 Playoffs: Game 5, the Penguins ended up stomping on the Flyers 10-7 with Mario Lemieux finishing with 7 points, but the highlight of the evening was Rob Brown's goal and being chased by an obviously frustrated Flyers goalie Ron Hextall



You thought the Pens had all the momentum after that game, but no, the Flyers came back and won the last two games to win the series 4-3.

1997: The Flyers ended Mario Lemieux's career. The Pens were down 3 games to 0 but Super Mario gave them one more memory.



To this day, I still get chills watching that goal. It was just fitting it was in Pittsburgh. Needless to say, the Flyers ended the Penguins season 2 days later.

2000: Another crack at Philly. It was almost inevitable when the Pens took a 2-0 lead after winning the first two in Philadelphia. But then two OT memories that will never go away and change momentum.

Game 3: Andy Delmore cuts it in half...


Game 4: Keith Primeau rips my guts out in five overtimes



The Flyers go on to win the final two games and steal the series from Pittsburgh.

2008: REVENGE IS A BITCH MY FRIENDS!!! Finally Pittsburgh gets on the board in this one sided rivalry. The clinching Game 5 video relieved the Pens of all the frustrations from past years. So I am happy to post the entire highlight reel from that game.



Whatever the case, this series will be determined by who has the most will and skill and capitalize on their opportunities. Let's face, the Pens are the more finesse team, but the Flyers can be a tough, rugged bunch. For me it is the goalies. Which Martin Biron will show up for Philly? I sure do hope its the one from last year. Overall I just feel that Pittsburgh has so much more fire power than Philadelphia that they can out gun them anyday of the week, plus we have an All-Star caliber goaltender that can steal the show also if it ended up being a defensive struggle. However, for the sake of the rivalry, this game goes SEVEN. Philly losing to the Rangers on the final day is really going to haunt them and not getting Game 7 in their barn. Pens in 7.

It's time...



This is not for the weak of heart.

Stanley Cup Playoffs Preview 2009 Edition

The most gorgeous piece of silver known to man. It's gonna take 2 months of hell, beards and sacrifice for a moment to lift this 35 pound trophy. But to those injured, beaten and physically drained, nothing is more gratifying. Let's meet the participants...

WESTERN CONFERENCE

#1: San Jose Sharks vs. #8: Anaheim Ducks

Clearly from a skill standpoint, San Jose is the much better squad. They have the better goalie, forwards, defense and experience. Saying that a rivalry like this Norcal vs. Socal battle makes things a little more interesting and worth glancing at. Let's also face facts that San Jose cruised through the season and are going to the playoffs backing in; which I feel may be a psychological advantage for this Ducks team. Their goalie Jean-Sebastian Giguere is a playoff tested goalie with Stanley Cup experience and can definitely steal this series. I know I may be giving more credit to the Ducks here, but I think San Jose has more sense of urgency to the fact that they don't want to eff up once again and be considered a team who couldn't win the big one.

PREDICTION


Sorry Coach Bombay... Sharks in 7, in a grueling, punishing seven game series.

#2: Detroit Red Wings vs. #7: Columbus Blue Jackets

Face it, Columbus is just happy to be in the dance for the first time in its franchise history, but they run into not only a well oiled machine that is Detroit, but the defending champs. You think their run last year was amazing, they only got better this year when they acquired former Penguin (and traitor) Marian Hossa. Good for the Blue Jackets though finally making the big show, but damn if they even win a game.

PREDICTION



Beware Of The Octopus! Red Wings in a sweep 4-0.

#3: Vancouver Canucks vs. #6: St. Louis Blues

This is an interesting matchup, because the Blues shouldn't have any business being in the dance, but they're young, they don't know any better and have practically nothing to lose... Which makes them even more dangerous. The Canucks are a veteran squad that added Mats Sundin during the season to give them more scoring for the playoffs. But damn the guy is just too Jekkyl and Hyde. The key is Roberto Luongo. If he stands on his head and owns everyones soul, Vancouver easily wins this. However if at any point he stumbles, you put the harmonicas away and the Blues will be moving on.

PREDICTION



Wrote A Song Bout It... Like To Hear It, Here It Goes...

"I Watched The Canucks and Blues... And The Blues Upset Them In Siiiiiiiiix ... Ahhhh Hahhhh! Thank You Very Much!"

#4: Chicago Blackhawks vs. #5: Calgary Flames

Man, I love this Blackhawks team! They are a bunch of youngsters. More talented version of St. Louis but can seriously make a run for it. Iron Mike Keenan bought himself a few renters at the deadline with Olli Jokinen and reaquiring Jordan Leopold, but as long as you slow down MVP caliber Jarome Iginla, you are good. The young Hawks may not have the playoff experience, but neither does Jokinen (never made the playoffs). Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are a poor man's Crosby and Malkin (duo wise). Not saying that they are, but they are the West version of those two. They are beautiful to watch.

PREDICTION



No more crying Chief... Blackhawks in 5

EASTERN CONFERENCE

#1: Boston Bruins vs. #8: Montreal Canadiens

The Big bad Bruins beat the hell out of everyone early this year. Now they couldn't do anything the second half of the year. The Canadiens are a joke! They fired their coach midseason, their star forward is inconsistent, two brothers are involved in a mafia type ring, and now Celine Dion wants part ownership of the Habs. These 2 original six teams have had some classic battles and this one is no different. However I just can't see Montreal doing anything. Their goalie is shaky and their forwards just aren't tough enough to maintain a grueling Stanley Cup run.

PREDICTION



Bear City rules all. Fuck Celine Dion. Bruins in 5

#2: Washington Capitals vs. #7: New York Rangers

This is a story of one Alexander Ovechkin. Last year he produced so well but could not lift his team past the first round. He gets another chance. Against a Ranger team who keep trying to buy a ring but to no avail. The key? Ranger goalie Henrik Lundqvist. If he shows that he can be one of the best goalies in the world, the Rags have it. If AO and Co. come out blazing, this series will be over quickly. So for the sake of the matchup I want...

PREDICTION



Sometimes you have to win ugly... Literally... Capitals in 6

#3: New Jersey Devils vs. #6: Carolina Hurricanes

I have one darkhorse this playoff year... Carolina. This team is so solid and arguably the hottest going into the playoffs. They have a star player in Eric Staal that can score at will plus a group of veterans that can go on a huge Cup run. One thing gets in the way of that. The All-Time Winningest Goalie: Martin Brodeur. He has the ability to steal a game and a series. He is that good. However, I believe a close second in the group of 16 teams is Canes goalie Cam Ward. Don't underestimate the Devils trapping defense. Its boring as hell like the San Antonio Spurs, but it gets the job done.

PREDICTION



Hurricane, but you can call me slurricane... Carolina in six games.

TOMORROW...

Penguins vs. Flyers Preview since I am a Pens fan.

It's almost here...

It's All Set: The Sweet Sixteen

The Stanley Cup Playoffs are here and thanks to the New York Rangers, the Penguins get home ice advantage vs. the Flyers after they beat Philly in the final game of the year. This is where my disease starts. My day will surround the Penguins playing for Lord Stanley's Cup. The superstitions. The pregame rituals. The agony. The exhiliration. The anticipation. The joy. Will this be the year? I'll dive into greater detail with an extensive preview tomorrow, but here are the first round playoff matchups for both the EAST and WEST

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. San Jose Sharks vs. 8 Anaheim Ducks
2. Detroit Red Wings vs. 7. Columbus Blue Jackets
3. Vancouver Canucks vs. 6. St. Louis Blues
4. Chicago Blackhawks vs. 5. Calgary Flames

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1. Boston Bruins vs. 8. Montreal Canadiens
2. Washington Capitals vs. 7. New York Rangers
3. New Jersey Devils vs. 6. Carolina Hurricanes
4. PITTSBURGH PENGUINS vs. 5. Philadelphia Flyers

From now until the end of the playoffs, this song will always play...



It's Time!

Told Ya The World Wasn't Over: Pens Win

What a game by Marc-Andre Fleury. Just a ridiculous performance! Shutting out a top caliber Western playoff team in Calgary. Best of all, Hal Gill of all people scored a goal which made the win much sweeter for he scores once in a blue moon.

Clearly the Flames had so many opportunities but Fleury stood on his head. Though it was a 2-0 game it was clearly the best 2-0 game all season.



Boston, Jersey and Washington clinched spots

Philly, Carolina, Pittsburgh, NY Rangers, Montreal: 4-8

Florida and Buffalo are fucked.

Last 10 games. Make em count!

Song of the Day


Hustle Up!

Lull Before Playoffs

Here are Monday's results

Philadelphia 4 New Jersey 2: Philly keeps rollin' with a victory vs. the best in the Atlantic Division.

Florida 2 Carolina 3 OT: Ray Whitney helps the Canes quietly move up in the standings again.

1. Boston
2. New Jersey
3. Washington
4. Philadelphia
5. PENGUINS
6. Carolina
7. NY Rangers
8. Montreal

-----SHIT OUT OF LUCK-----
9. Florida
10. Buffalo

Tuesday's Tilts

*Minnesota @ NY Rangers: Rags have a chance to climb up

*Atlanta @ Montreal: Habs need to win these games if they want it bad enough.

Can't Stop from Now Till Vegas...

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop
by larsen42

It's Not The End Of The World: Penguins Lose

I know I don't like to lose. Hell the Columbus loss was a "meh" moment for me when it came to the loss, but something about losing to Philly that gets me. I know its not the end of the world, but I know this loss will make the Pens much tougher and better. Face it, Biron was out of his mind. The Pens couldn't get bounces. Just an overall tough day in the office. I'm beginning to not like the 3rd jerseys. I'm a superstitious guy, and these damn sweaters have been a thorn in my ass since they've been instituted.



BURN EM'

I feel sick posting a recap. But 2 Flyer power play goals. Kris Letang cuts it in half with 10 minutes left. Some jackass with an empty netter. Frustrating afternoon. Good thing I was at work the rest of the day.



I'm Gonna Burn That Jersey!

The Good News is the Rangers lost to the Senators. Hooray for that.

At least tonight you'll get an in-depth update plus entertaining standings as of Sunday March 22nd, 2009... Each team will be described as a TGIF character with explanation.


1. Boston Bruins: 102 Points (9 Games Left)

-The big picture is they're the Northeast champs and is also one step to clinching the conference after a big win vs. Jersey.

TGIF character: Stefan Urkel



Why? They're cool. They have a swag. But can be overly cocky, and it has bit them in the ass.

2. New Jersey Devils: 97 Points (10 Games Left)

-The definition of consistency. Now with Marty Brodeur back, they are arguably the most dangerous team in the playoffs.

TGIF character: Carl Winslow



Why? They're always there. They're respected. They just get the job done, just like Officer Winslow.

3. Washington Capitals: 96 Points (8 Games Left)

-A.O and company need some serious pushing for them to make any noise in the playoffs. If Ovechkin doesn't score, they are usually not going to do squat. Mike Green can be a key to their playoff success if he continues to produce.

TGIF Character: Danielle Fishel "Topanga" from Boy Meets World



Why? The only reason you watch TGIF was for her and like Topanga that is why you watch Washington Capitals hockey... For Alexander Ovechkin. When you relive her 90's hotness she was gold, but then fizzle in the 2000's and she's screwed. Same with you Ovechkin... Don't fizzle in the playoffs.

4. Philadelphia Flyers: 88 Points (11 Games Left)

-A few games in hand and staying on the winning side can give the Orange and Black some success in playoffs. Question is just in goal and if Marty Biron can be that guy. And would the real Danny Briere please stand up in the playoffs?

TGIF character: Weasel from Family Matters



Why? Like him, their fans are annoying. Their players look like him, and he's someone that you just hated on the show.

5. Pittsburgh Penguins 86 Points (8 Games Left)

-Left for dead at the deadline, but the Kunitz and Guerin moves proved to be a success... For now? Can it hold up in a 7 game series?

TGIF character: Shawn Hunter and Cory Matthews "Boy Meets World"



Why? Its Malkin and Crosby. What a tandem! Though they can have some success and ability to overcome on their own, together they can accomplish anything.

6. Carolina Hurricanes: 85 Points (8 Games Left)

-They just keep finding ways to get points. Very underrated goalie. Can be a darkhorse in the playoffs.

TGIF Character: Christine Lakin... "Al from Step By Step"



Why? No one cared for them when she was younger or early in the season like the Hurricanes, but when the show got older and the season wore on, people started to notice her hotness. Nice job Carolina.

7. NY Rangers: 84 Points (9 Games Left)

-The team is on the winning track right now. Unfortunately they just can't seem to climb up since the other teams their chasing are also winning.

TGIF Character: Mark Cooper "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper."



Why? Cause no matter what his show does, it's not Family Matters, Boy Meets World, or Step By Step.

8. Montreal Canadiens: 81 Points (10 Games Left)

-Midseason coaching change didn't bode well for the Habs. They're unmotivated, playing bad hockey and floundering all at once.

TGIF Character: Cody from Step By Step



Why? Though he is cool and a favorite by a lot of fans like the Canadiens, inside has a dark secret of domestic violence. I think the domestic dispute with Montreal has also come out with the firing of their head coach weeks ago.

-----SHIT OUT OF LUCK-----

9. Florida Panthers: 80 Points (10 Games Left)

-Better make a move fast or else they'll lose their best player for nothing and the team accomplished nothing by keeping him at the deadline.

TGIF Character: Mother Winslow from Family Matters



Why? Cause she's old and that's what Florida is just known for... Old people. Not a Stanley Cup contender.

10. Buffalo Sabres: 76 Points (10 Games Left)

-Gotta laugh at something right? Well here you. Laugh at their dimunitive playoff chances. You fuck up enough times and you become a legend in Buffalo. Google Scott Norwood. Or The Buffalo Sabres. Or Even The Buffalo Bills special teams.

TGIF Character: Chet Hunter "Boy Meets World"



Why? He was Shawn's dad and finally got to get some air-time. But his opportunity (like the Sabres) ran out and he ended up dying.




Song of the Day...

Penguins lost... Boring day at work... My beard itches... Vegas Is Still Not Here Yet... Someone made me sad LOL...

Let's kill ourselves with a trio of sad songs...

Toni Braxton: Just Another Sad Love Song


Brian McKnight: One Last Cry
Brian McKnight - One Last Cry



Aaron Hall: I Miss You (ARGUABLY THE SADDEST EFFIN VIDEO IN MY OPINION)

I Miss U (Aaron Hall)
by badghalmarcia

March Madness Round 2 Scores

1. Sir Stevematic: 54 Pts
2. Coop: 53 Pts
3. Roderick #2: 52 Pts
4. Old Skool Dave: 51 Pts
4. MACTINO: 51 Pts
4. Justin Alejandre: 51 Pts
5. Mikey Leach: 50 Pts
6. Brian Jacobs: 49 Pts
7. Mark Doomz: 47 Pts
7. Roderick #1: 47 Pts
8. Jody/John: 46 Pts
8. Sherman: 46 Pts
9. Jimmy: 45 Pts
10. Danny: 44 Pts
11. Tyrone: 43 Pts
12. JJ: 42 Pts
13. Meghan: 40 Pts

Saturday Night Saturday Night!!!

Let's get down to business...

*Rangers 5 Buffalo 3: The Sabres are now officially on life support. It's just a matter of time when the plug is pulled.

*Carolina 4 Capitals 1: Man the Canes meant business in the third! Scoring 3 goals to send a message to Southeast leading Washington.

*Leafs 5 Montreal 2: The Bob Gainey Experiment is slowly dying along with the Habs. Not even George St. Pierre can give this team enough fight. They look disinterested to me.

*Columbus 3 Florida 1: Bad loss for Florida. Clinging on to a 1 goal lead and your Florida is like having your girlfriend around handsome, charming European men. Something is gonna give. Columbus were those guys.

So as of Saturday Night...

1. B's 100 Pts: Clinched Playoff Spot. Yey them. Start playing again instead of coasting though.

2. Jersey 97 Pts: Will get it next

3. JOKES 96 Pts: The hate of AO is starting to loom.

4. Philly 86 Pts: Huge seeding game vs. Pittsburgh Sunday

5. PENGUINS 86 Pts: Beat Philly and they get home ice.

6. Carolina 85 Pts: The Hurricanes and Cam Ward are gonna be an underrated bunch in the playoffs.

7. NY Rangers 84 Pts: 4-7 is so close right now. A losing streak can just ruin you. It's not a jinx to you New York.

8. Montreal 81 Pts: You mess with the Bull, you get the horns.

-----SHIT OUT OF LUCK-----

9. Florida 80 Pts: If they don't make the playoffs, they lose Bouwmeester in the summer for diddly poo.

10. Buffalo 76 Pts: What we have here is a situation where they are brain dead and is just living off of a machine. Do we just pull it?

Sunday Tilts...

*Philadelphia @ Pittsburgh: A Keystone rivalry renewed. This shit can get ugly.

*Ottawa @ NY Rangers

Song of the Day...

Mariah Carey - Dreamlover
by Dante35

What can I say... I Love Mariah Carey.

March Madness Scores: After Round One

1. Old Skool Dave Jacobs: 27 Pts
T2. Coop: 25 Pts
T2. Mark Doomz: 25 Pts
T3. Danny: 24 Pts
T3. Stevematic: 24 Pts
T3. Mikey Leach: 24 Pts
T3. Megan G: 24 Pts
T4. MACTINO: 23 Pts
T4. Brian Jacobs: 23 Pts
T4. Roderick #1: 23 Pts
T4. Tyrone: 23 Pts
T4. Justin Alejandre: 23 Pts
T5. Jody/John: 22 Pts
T5. Sherman Klump: 22 Pts
T5. JJ: 22 Pts
T5. Roderick #2: 22 Pts
6. Jimmy: 21 Pts

2nd Round Scores Will Be Posted This Sunday Night... Thank You.

Beat L.A!!! Done

The Penguins continue to keep rolling along and defeat the Kings 4-1. The Kings are a nice hard working young team, but they just ran into a more powerful bunch. Sidney Crosby scored a goal and an assist and Evgeni Malkin padded his scoring lead with a goal and an assist of his own. There is no doubt that he will be this year's Art Ross Trophy winner as well as the MVP of the league. Book it. Tyler Kennedy and Billy Guerin also scored for Pittsburgh and they earn another big important 2 points.



Amidst all the points they were trying to earn a month ago, we fail to forget that there was another sellout of the Igloo tonight. Big ups to the Penguins fans for sticking with the team!

In Other Games...

Carolina 5 NY Islanders 4: Man the Canes exploded after being down 2 goals, with three straight. Huge 2 points for them tonight at the expense of the hapless Islanders.

Philadelphia 6 Buffalo 4: The Sabres are falling apart! How the hell do you blow another home lead? They really don't deserve it!

STANDINGS

1. Bruins 100
2. Capitals 96
3. Jersey 95
4. Flyers 86
5. PENGUINS 86
6. Carolina 83
7. Rangers 82
8. Montreal 81

-----SHIT OUT OF LUCK-----
9. Florida 80
10. Buffalo 76: RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Saturday's Must See...

*Capitals @ Carolina: AO vs. Eric Staal! It's gonna be a barnburner!

*Leafs @ Montreal: Stop Messing Around Montreal!

*Buffalo @ NY Rangers: Stop Messing Around Buffalo!

*Columbus @ Florida: Tough game for the Cats. Those boys can play hockey!

SONG OF THE DAY...

In honor of No Doubt's Return Tour, I've been in a No Doubt mood lately



Happy Birthday MJ and Boogie!

A Little Late...

Ottawa beat Montreal 5-4.

Florida gets a big win 3-1

Today's Games

PENGUINS at home vs. Kings

Buffalo plays at home vs. Flyers

Carolina plays at home vs. Isles

Just One Game

Canes beat New Jersey: Gain 2 points in that logjam of an East race.

Thursday's Games

*Montreal @ Ottawa: 2 Canadian teams going at it. Gonna be a good one.

*Maple Leafs @ Florida: The Cats need to put a string of wins together

Song Of The Day



IT BEGINS TODAY!!! WOOOOOOOO!

A Historical Night...

...Usually I'll start the blog off with the Penguins, but New Jersey Devils goalie Martin Brodeur steals the show. Look the Pens and Devils have met in some epic battles and I've grown to hate the team and the goalie, but you have to respect his accomplishment tonight with his 552nd win; breaking Patrick Roy's All-Time Goalie Wins Record.


Arguably The Best Goaltender Of All-Time With That Win.

Now to the task at hand which is the playoff push...

The Pens demolished Atlanta tonight with a 6-2 victory. The Thrashers actually had a 6 game winning streak going into the game tonight. To add to it, they scored the first goal 30 seconds in. Then the much maligned Penguin power play pulled a Jesus and rose from the dead and struck. It started with a Sergei Gonchar slapper. Then as the first period ended, Chris Kunitz puts in a rebound off a Sidney Crosby shot to give the Pens a 2-1 lead.


Folk Hero Status Growing!

The 2nd Period Was All Pittsburgh and How Evgeni Malkin is solidifying himself as the league's MVP. First Jordan Staal gets popped but gets up to find a seam and buries a shot pass former Penguin Playoff hero Johan Hedberg. Then Geno strikes with goals number 31 and 32 on a power play slapper from the right wing. Atlanta scores a garbage goal to make the score 5-2 at the end of 2.


Any Questions???

The third was just a matter of if Malkin was gonna get the hat trick, but wait the world has ended as Mark Eaton scores a goal to push the game 6-2.


This pic ruined most computer screen by it's "beast-ness"

Then Malkin gets his chance for his hat trick as he was hauled down on a breakaway. Penalty shot. No dice... Probably the only thing that didn't go right for the Pens.


Highlight Central

In Other Games Of Importance...

*Rangers 4 Montreal 3 OT/Shootout: Both teams earned a point with the Rags getting the extra to overtake the Habs in the standings for now. Carey Price looked like shit on the shootout.

*Sabres 2 Ottawa 4: Buffalo keeps pooping on their own season by losing these games they should be winning against non-playoff teams.

*Philly 2 Red Wings 3: Philly had a 1 goal lead in Joe Louis and fucked up. It is my lucky day! Detroit scores 2 in a span of 2 minutes for the win.

*JOKES 3 Florida 0: Solid win for the Caps. Bad loss for the Cats. I still hate you Washington.

STANDINGS as of Wednesday March 18th at Midnight

1. Bruins 99 Pts (11 Left): They're slowly lolly-gagging the last few games. Don't fuck around or you'll get burned. This is what happens when you get out into a huge lead in the Conference early in the year.

2. New Jersey 95 Pts (13 Left): They're catching up, I TOLD YOU! Plus the world's greatest goalie is now a all-time record holder.

3. Washington JOKES 94 Pts (10 Left): They're sailing the ship. I still hate you though.

4. Philly 84 Pts (13 Left): Shitty loss after working so hard at the Joe tonight. Oh well! Helps us more.

5. PENGUINS 84 Pts (10 Left): Philly gets the nod cause of games in hand. The home-cookin' continues on Friday against LA. Gotta keep winning them.

6. NY Rangers 82 Pts (11 Left): Big 2 pts on the road.

7. Montreal 80 Pts (12 Left): Earned a point but not consistent enough under the new boss. Carey Price has too many holes than swiss cheese.

8. Carolina 79 Pts (11 Left): The fighting Eric Staal's play Wednesday.

-----SHIT OUT OF LUCK-----

9. Florida 78 Pts (12 Left): They gotta build a sense of consistency or else it's another lonely spring for the Cats.

10. Buffalo 76 Pts (12 Left): Man this team is digging themselves a hole that cannot be explain. Actually yes I can explain it. They can't beat teams out of the playoff race. A supposed easy 2.

Wednesday Games

*New Jersey @ Carolina: Can be a big let down game for Jersey. The Canes can capitalize after the Brodeur historic moment.

Song of the Day...

For You Drunk Bastards On St. Patty's Day!

CHUMBAWAMBA-TUBTHUMPING
by pierrot77

Happy St. Patty's Day!!!

All's quiet on the Penguins front tonight. But here's the list of important contests on St. Patrick's Day...

*Atlanta @ PENGUINS: Atlanta smooshed Washington tonight. Hope they scored all of their goals tonight.

*Philly @ Red Wings: Pens only 2 points back from the 4 seed. But Philly has 3 games in hand. Tough test against the champs

*Capitals @ Florida: AO and Co have a date in America's Wang.

*Buffalo @ Ottawa: No love lost when these two meet. Remember those hardcore ass playoff battles?

*NY Rangers @ Montreal: Playoff positioning game here. Both at 80 pts.


Let's Slow It Down Tonight.