Top 16 Greatest Beards Of All Time

In honor of the Stanley Cup playoffs, the NCV crew has decided to countdown the 16 (HOW MANY WINS IT TAKES TO LIFT THE STANLEY CUP) best beards of all time. At the end of this blog the people are also going to vote for Shanezoola's playoff beard to either keep it or shave it. As of right now it is 10-9 (KEEP IT).

16. Phil Margera
Every part of Bam's dad is not solid, except his beard. He has kept that thing rocksteady for a long time.



15. Jerry Garcia
This man's beard is solid! Plus making him a musician and one of the greatest rock and rollers of all time added to his lore and put him on this list.



14. Abraham Lincoln
He is probably the most recognizable president in history with his beard. Put a photo of him next to a bunch of other presidents and people will easily recognize Honest Abe.



13. Grizzly Adams
Definition of a rugged man. That is what beards are all about. He is what an American man is all about!



12. Geico Cavemen
For hilarity, these guys are one of a kind. Like Abe, there are also very recognizable in our society. Their commercials are sheer genious!



11. Bob Ross
Any man who paints scenic portraits with a beard like his is definitely on acid. How many freakin' mountains do you have to paint Bob? How many trees? Knowing him he probably smoked most of them. SOLID BEARD THO!



10. Baron Davis
Baron Davis made his beard famous during the 2007 NBA Playoffs against Dallas. The beard was thick and even on all cylinders. It was the quintessential playoff beard!



9. ZZ Top
How can these guys not make the list. Their beards have probably been consistently famous for decades now and even our new generation of people still recognize who they are.



8. Michael Gross
Solid 70's and 80's beard. You have to take a second and watch an episode of Family Ties and appreciate the facial hair of Michael J. Fox's dad. It is just splendid everywhere!



7. Bob Vila
Screw Tim Taylor, Bob Vila is Home Improvement. Solid Handyman. Even better beard.



6. Barry White
Underrated beard. This man not only dominates baby makin' music but his facial hair shits on a lot of people. If there is a quality of Barry White you don't like, you just need to blow your head off cause you are definitely out of your mind!



5. Richard Karn
While Tim Taylor fucks everything up in its path, Al Borland holds Tool Time together. If I was him I would take off my flannel shirt and choke Tim Allen to death with him and before death make Tim apologize to his beard for ever causing him any trouble.



4. Kenny Rogers
The Gambler has to make the list. He's one of those unique White Beards who has consistently been around for almost 4-5 decades. Unforgettable beard!



3. Santa Claus
This man has not shaved his face in years cause he is worried about getting your damn presents you ungrateful bastards! The least we can do is thank him and his everywhere facial hair for providing us with everlasting Christmas cheer.



2. Chuck Norris
Do you know Chuck Norris' tears can cure AIDS? The only bad thing is that no one has ever seen Chuck Norris cry.



1. Jesus Christ
The Messiah OWNS this list. He kept his facial hair solid throughout time and will still dominate it today and forever. Let's see you not agree here.



Before we end it, once again the blog is acknowledging Shanezoola's beard and vote now whether you want the beard to stay or go. Voting ends Thursday night.

NCV's Top 10 Funniest Movie Lines

Here we go at it again. Another top 10 list. This time the criteria involves me and the MAC bot seeing the films. Mind you there are multiple funny ass scenes/lines, but it was hard, but we narrowed it to the best in our opinion. One line/scene per movie.

10. Coming To America


Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate

This scene is always funny and always puts me in a great mood listening to it.

9. Friday


The Bernie Mac Scene

When I first watched got the DVD to this movie, i rewinded this scene so many times. I just thought it was absolutely hilarious!

8. Tommy Boy


Housekeeping Scene

Fat guys are funnier! Tell me you have never imitated this scene when you were at a hotel?

7. Zoolander


Merman

Props to Chris for finding this gem

6. CB4


976-Gays

King Kong Balls!

5. Billy Madison


Old Man Clemmins

OMG HE CALLED THE SHIT POOP!

4. House Party 3



The Dinner Scene

Reynaldo Rey and Bernie Mac just carried this scene!

3. Dumb and Dumber


Mockingbird

In a movie full of funny scenes, this one stood out! How funny was that Mexican family singing with the guys?

2. Office Space


"O" Face

This is the only thing you would know about Mike Relm.

1. Anchorman


What The Hell Bro?


The ultimate ode to THE NATION!

Top 10 Hottest TV SHOW Women of the 90's

So the countdown is back. The top 10 hottest TV Show women of the 90's. It is strictly television shows of the 90's and the NCV crew has compiled the best ten.

10. Heather Locklear: What person doesn't think this lady is smokin' hot? It gave you a reason to even watch Melrose Place. There is no Melrose Place without her. Any person who tells you that she isn't a smokin' hot babe is either a homo or a hater.




WHY IS THIS TORTURE VIDEO HOT TO US?

9. Christina Applegate: Sure Married With Children was hilarious and you kept watching it on Fox at 9PM, but you always had a thing for Kelly Bundy. She was the dumb blonde, and Al Bundy's daughter who always was deemed a cheap, retarded slut. There was not an episode of the show without seeing Kelly's legs amidst all the airheaded things she says.




Kelly Bundy at her best.

8. Christine Lakin: You remembered TGIF and tuning into Step By Step and at first noticing the tomboy Al on the show and you thought to yourself "Man Karen was the hottest on the show." But as the seasons continued to progress, she got older... And hotter. By show's end, all males out there were left hangin' cause she hasn't been seen in anything since Step By Step.






7. Danielle Fishel: She was the reason you watched TGIF. The 830 slot after Family Matters, watching Topanga from Boy Meets World cast a spell on Cory Matthews. Like Al from Step By Step, as she got older, she blossomed into a full mature hottie. But the 830 slot on Friday nights will never ever be forgotten.




Cory Matthews=Biggest dweeb in all the land and also the luckiest!

6. Nikki Cox: I remember watching Unhappily Ever After for the first time and noticing that I have a boner. Who the f*ck is the red headed chick? It was her. Tiffany Malloy was Nikki Cox. She made that entire show. She was the reason that show even existed. Not the fraggled voice of Bobcat Goldwait. It was her walking down the stairs wearing a short skirt and heels. What girl does that on any TV show nowadays?




We really didn't care what she was saying here.

5. Lark Voorhies: Underrated hottie. Lost in the whole Saved By The Bell lore was Lisa Turtle. She was gorgeous! A hottie that would just not give Screech the time of day, but kept us oggling over her.





4. Jennie Garth: If this was a girl's blog and they were doing the opposite type of countdown with men, they would probably use the same reasons for Brandon or Dylan. Kelly was the backbone of the show. All around consistent hottie during the show's tenure. There was not an episode where Kelly did not look good. And boy she still looks good!




Classic theme song BTW!

3. Danica McKellar: Part of you wanted to live in the Wonder Years. Growing up in the same neighborhood, your best friend was a girl next door and as you got older, blossoming into a mind boggling hottie! If you're lucky enough to have a Winnie Cooper in your life, then you are one lucky man.







TWO WONDER YEARS SCENES THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIVES!

2. Pamela Anderson: The sole reason you watched Baywatch. I want to ask a question. Answer truthfully. What person hasn't masturbated to Baywatch? You have Pam Anderson running in a red bathing suit and jumping in water for one hour. Sure there were other hotties on the show: Traci Bingham, Yasmine Bleeth, Nicole Eggert, Donna D'Errico, Carmen Electra, but Pam shits on everyone during the 90's run.




WOW.

1. Tiffani-Amber Thiessen: For people who don't understand the power of Kelly Kapowski. Shame on you! Take a guy poll on one thing they remember about Saved By The Bell. A majority, even all would say... Mark Paul Gooselaar and Mario Lopez better have been thanking God everyday to be able to kiss this queen. You know when the show ended, a part of you was taken. And even now, you found out she was married in real life, you knew a part of your childhood died.




Nothing in this world matters anymore.


Who can forget this scene?