Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Top 16 Greatest Beards Of All Time

In honor of the Stanley Cup playoffs, the NCV crew has decided to countdown the 16 (HOW MANY WINS IT TAKES TO LIFT THE STANLEY CUP) best beards of all time. At the end of this blog the people are also going to vote for Shanezoola's playoff beard to either keep it or shave it. As of right now it is 10-9 (KEEP IT).

16. Phil Margera
Every part of Bam's dad is not solid, except his beard. He has kept that thing rocksteady for a long time.



15. Jerry Garcia
This man's beard is solid! Plus making him a musician and one of the greatest rock and rollers of all time added to his lore and put him on this list.



14. Abraham Lincoln
He is probably the most recognizable president in history with his beard. Put a photo of him next to a bunch of other presidents and people will easily recognize Honest Abe.



13. Grizzly Adams
Definition of a rugged man. That is what beards are all about. He is what an American man is all about!



12. Geico Cavemen
For hilarity, these guys are one of a kind. Like Abe, there are also very recognizable in our society. Their commercials are sheer genious!



11. Bob Ross
Any man who paints scenic portraits with a beard like his is definitely on acid. How many freakin' mountains do you have to paint Bob? How many trees? Knowing him he probably smoked most of them. SOLID BEARD THO!



10. Baron Davis
Baron Davis made his beard famous during the 2007 NBA Playoffs against Dallas. The beard was thick and even on all cylinders. It was the quintessential playoff beard!



9. ZZ Top
How can these guys not make the list. Their beards have probably been consistently famous for decades now and even our new generation of people still recognize who they are.



8. Michael Gross
Solid 70's and 80's beard. You have to take a second and watch an episode of Family Ties and appreciate the facial hair of Michael J. Fox's dad. It is just splendid everywhere!



7. Bob Vila
Screw Tim Taylor, Bob Vila is Home Improvement. Solid Handyman. Even better beard.



6. Barry White
Underrated beard. This man not only dominates baby makin' music but his facial hair shits on a lot of people. If there is a quality of Barry White you don't like, you just need to blow your head off cause you are definitely out of your mind!



5. Richard Karn
While Tim Taylor fucks everything up in its path, Al Borland holds Tool Time together. If I was him I would take off my flannel shirt and choke Tim Allen to death with him and before death make Tim apologize to his beard for ever causing him any trouble.



4. Kenny Rogers
The Gambler has to make the list. He's one of those unique White Beards who has consistently been around for almost 4-5 decades. Unforgettable beard!



3. Santa Claus
This man has not shaved his face in years cause he is worried about getting your damn presents you ungrateful bastards! The least we can do is thank him and his everywhere facial hair for providing us with everlasting Christmas cheer.



2. Chuck Norris
Do you know Chuck Norris' tears can cure AIDS? The only bad thing is that no one has ever seen Chuck Norris cry.



1. Jesus Christ
The Messiah OWNS this list. He kept his facial hair solid throughout time and will still dominate it today and forever. Let's see you not agree here.



Before we end it, once again the blog is acknowledging Shanezoola's beard and vote now whether you want the beard to stay or go. Voting ends Thursday night.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

NCV's Top 10 Funniest Movie Lines

Here we go at it again. Another top 10 list. This time the criteria involves me and the MAC bot seeing the films. Mind you there are multiple funny ass scenes/lines, but it was hard, but we narrowed it to the best in our opinion. One line/scene per movie.

10. Coming To America


Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate

This scene is always funny and always puts me in a great mood listening to it.

9. Friday


The Bernie Mac Scene

When I first watched got the DVD to this movie, i rewinded this scene so many times. I just thought it was absolutely hilarious!

8. Tommy Boy


Housekeeping Scene

Fat guys are funnier! Tell me you have never imitated this scene when you were at a hotel?

7. Zoolander


Merman

Props to Chris for finding this gem

6. CB4


976-Gays

King Kong Balls!

5. Billy Madison


Old Man Clemmins

OMG HE CALLED THE SHIT POOP!

4. House Party 3



The Dinner Scene

Reynaldo Rey and Bernie Mac just carried this scene!

3. Dumb and Dumber


Mockingbird

In a movie full of funny scenes, this one stood out! How funny was that Mexican family singing with the guys?

2. Office Space


"O" Face

This is the only thing you would know about Mike Relm.

1. Anchorman


What The Hell Bro?


The ultimate ode to THE NATION!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Top 10 Hottest TV SHOW Women of the 90's

So the countdown is back. The top 10 hottest TV Show women of the 90's. It is strictly television shows of the 90's and the NCV crew has compiled the best ten.

10. Heather Locklear: What person doesn't think this lady is smokin' hot? It gave you a reason to even watch Melrose Place. There is no Melrose Place without her. Any person who tells you that she isn't a smokin' hot babe is either a homo or a hater.




WHY IS THIS TORTURE VIDEO HOT TO US?

9. Christina Applegate: Sure Married With Children was hilarious and you kept watching it on Fox at 9PM, but you always had a thing for Kelly Bundy. She was the dumb blonde, and Al Bundy's daughter who always was deemed a cheap, retarded slut. There was not an episode of the show without seeing Kelly's legs amidst all the airheaded things she says.




Kelly Bundy at her best.

8. Christine Lakin: You remembered TGIF and tuning into Step By Step and at first noticing the tomboy Al on the show and you thought to yourself "Man Karen was the hottest on the show." But as the seasons continued to progress, she got older... And hotter. By show's end, all males out there were left hangin' cause she hasn't been seen in anything since Step By Step.






7. Danielle Fishel: She was the reason you watched TGIF. The 830 slot after Family Matters, watching Topanga from Boy Meets World cast a spell on Cory Matthews. Like Al from Step By Step, as she got older, she blossomed into a full mature hottie. But the 830 slot on Friday nights will never ever be forgotten.




Cory Matthews=Biggest dweeb in all the land and also the luckiest!

6. Nikki Cox: I remember watching Unhappily Ever After for the first time and noticing that I have a boner. Who the f*ck is the red headed chick? It was her. Tiffany Malloy was Nikki Cox. She made that entire show. She was the reason that show even existed. Not the fraggled voice of Bobcat Goldwait. It was her walking down the stairs wearing a short skirt and heels. What girl does that on any TV show nowadays?




We really didn't care what she was saying here.

5. Lark Voorhies: Underrated hottie. Lost in the whole Saved By The Bell lore was Lisa Turtle. She was gorgeous! A hottie that would just not give Screech the time of day, but kept us oggling over her.





4. Jennie Garth: If this was a girl's blog and they were doing the opposite type of countdown with men, they would probably use the same reasons for Brandon or Dylan. Kelly was the backbone of the show. All around consistent hottie during the show's tenure. There was not an episode where Kelly did not look good. And boy she still looks good!




Classic theme song BTW!

3. Danica McKellar: Part of you wanted to live in the Wonder Years. Growing up in the same neighborhood, your best friend was a girl next door and as you got older, blossoming into a mind boggling hottie! If you're lucky enough to have a Winnie Cooper in your life, then you are one lucky man.







TWO WONDER YEARS SCENES THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIVES!

2. Pamela Anderson: The sole reason you watched Baywatch. I want to ask a question. Answer truthfully. What person hasn't masturbated to Baywatch? You have Pam Anderson running in a red bathing suit and jumping in water for one hour. Sure there were other hotties on the show: Traci Bingham, Yasmine Bleeth, Nicole Eggert, Donna D'Errico, Carmen Electra, but Pam shits on everyone during the 90's run.




WOW.

1. Tiffani-Amber Thiessen: For people who don't understand the power of Kelly Kapowski. Shame on you! Take a guy poll on one thing they remember about Saved By The Bell. A majority, even all would say... Mark Paul Gooselaar and Mario Lopez better have been thanking God everyday to be able to kiss this queen. You know when the show ended, a part of you was taken. And even now, you found out she was married in real life, you knew a part of your childhood died.




Nothing in this world matters anymore.


Who can forget this scene?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Oakland A's Suck

Chronicles Of A Playoff Beard: After Round 1 Update



Some Round 1 Thoughts...

1. Round 1 MVP: Marc-Andre Fleury. He was simply stellar. From his shutout in Game one to his performance in hostile Ottawa, he was indeed the man!

2. The Pens were indeed fired up to sweep Ottawa. I would be too if there is a huge picture outside of the stadium of your defeat from last year.

3. My favorite moment of round 1 wasn't the sweep. It was the resiliency of the Penguins in Game 2. Blowing a 3-0 lead in the regular season is forgivable, but in the playoffs, it can be damning. Great showing of maturity from the Pens.

4. Gary Roberts owns everything. Life, hockey, Ottawa, your girlfriend, playoffs. There is nothing this man can't do. OK. Gary Roberts and a hurricane... Who wins? Before you say anything, the Hurricane's name is Gary Roberts?

5. Sid was "quiet" in the first round in my opinion. Yeah he had 4 assists in Game 2 and scored the winner in Game 4, but to me he's still quiet. Wait until he busts out with Geno and Hossa. Scary!

6. Big ups to the role guys: Talbot, Ruutu, Laraque, Orpik, Mr. Kennedy etc. Their energy not only got them big time momentum, but it also chipped in a goal or two.

7. Who does Shanezoola want in the 2nd round? The New York Rangers. I want a piece of Sean Avery. Plus it would be great seeing the present and future Pens team play the Pens of the past who helped the team in their last glory playoff days.

8. My beard is irritating! I hate facial hair! But I have to reach into my inner Gary Roberts (yes everyone has one) and suck it up for the team!

See you in ROUND 2!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

How Sweep It Is!!! Playoff Beard Update #4

Winning a playoff round is difficult enough to do, sweeping a team is even more challenging. That's what my Penguins just did to the Ottawa Senators yesterday defeating them 3-1 and winning the series 4-0. Clearly, the Pens were the better team. Their offense clicked. Their defense was more sound. The goaltending was even better and coaching was a no-brainer. They beat Ottawa in every aspect of the game. And it feels damn good after last year's early exit. Redemption felt very very sweet, but now they have to put Ottawa in the rear view mirror because there is still the Rangers, Flyers and Capitals to be their possible opponents for the 2nd round. Right now enjoy the sweep cause the 2nd round is going to be even harder.



Playoff Beard Update: After 9 days



















Hey Shane You Got Some Shit On Your Face!

See you all in Round 2!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Playoff Beard Update: Game 3

The great thing about life is sometimes you get second chances. The Penguins had a lot of extra incentives in their second chance to beat Ottawa after losing in last year's playoffs. That added incentive? A big huge picture outside Ottawa's Scotiabank Centre of the handshakes after the Senators eliminated the Penguins in Ottawa last year. If you were a Penguin player, a piece of you wanted to shit in their faces and prove a point to them. If you were a fan, it just gave you extra motivation to cheer harder and root for the Pens more. The result? An absolutely dominating performance in the third and also some help from an Ottawa meltdown with penalties. Now the Pens have the incentive... To erase the vision of last year and create a new photo of them shaking hands with the Senators after eliminating them Wednesday Night. Penguins now have a COMMANDING 3-0 lead. But for some reason, I still feel uneasy due to the fact that in HOCKEY, two teams have ever come back from a 3-0 deficit. One was in 1975, where the Penguins had a 3-0 lead over the Islanders only for them to completely go AWOL and forget to finish the series up. But logic tells me that it won't happen this year... But you never know, so they have to wrap it up tomorrow.



Playoff Beard Update



















IT IS GETTING THERE!!!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Top 50 Most Underrated Singers/Groups Of All-Time

Here comes another one of those fabulous countdowns. The NCV crew have devised a list of who we think are the most underrated singers/groups of all time. This list was originally 60, but we cut it by ten. We just really feel these guys don't get the love that they receive from people out there and even some of the mainstream media. Our considerations for this list is amount of hits made, contributions around music in general, and in our mind is just one hit away from being a superstar. So here is the list...

50. Da Brat


We think Da Brat had it going for a certain period in the mid 90's. It is just a shame that she fell out of context when the new century hit.


Sooo...Soooo... Sooo... Funktified!

49. Foreigner


You knew your karaoke parties wouldn't be the same without a hit from this group.



48. Expose


Very underrated group. Point Of No Return was an absolute classic 80's hit.





47. The Scorpions


MACTINO's choice. His reasoning being that after watching his uncle's DVD, he realized that they made a lot of songs he "never knew the artist too"



46. Next


Not only were they hot in the late 90's and early 2000's, but one of their guys RL made one of the most underrated slow jams in our book with A Good Man.



45. Kelly Price


She has a wonderful voice, and actually has made a lot of beautiful music too.



44. Jon B


Someone To Love was the first thing we ever saw him in. He has a period in the 90's where he was a star. Its just too bad his 15 minutes of fame fizzled.



43. James Taylor


Classic guitarist! Lost in the lore of Jimi, Eric Clapton etc



42. James Ingram


One of the most underrated R&B artists out there. His ability to duet with anyone and has that deep soulful voice that can make your evening go just perfectly.


WHAT A SONG!

41. Gang-Starr


We feel this guy is very underrated in a jam packed hip hop game.



40. Case


Multiple singles hits in the the 90's and early 2000's. He has the ability to just blow up in our minds.



39. Air Supply


It was not the 80's without this group. You cannot sing karaoke without them. Their ability to just sing about love and sometimes being hurt can take you through a journey.





38. Warren G


The G funk era was a very underrated time in the rap game. It was lost in the middle of the whole East Coast/West Coast battle. He had a lot of under the radar hits.



37. Third Eye Blind


I first heard this group in the mid 90's and was totally caught by them. How's It Gonna Be was one of my favorite tracks during the 90's. Although they made a few that made the Billboard top 100 list, we just felt they were also one chart topping hit away from stardom.



36. Stone Temple Pilots


During the rock/grunge era in the 90's, we thought this group was right in the cusp of greatness. Just lost in the Pearl Jam, Nirvana lore was this group.



35. Peter Cetera


When he went solo, we felt this dude had some absolute gems. Even his duet work with the ladies was very underrated too.



34. Sheila E


In the 80's, she had some hits that when we looked her up, our jaws dropped in amazement. To us she was lost in the lore of Debbie Gibson, Tiffany and even the Jets.



33. Immature


Very underrated R&B group in the 90's. Its too bad they just ran into other powerhouses like Jodeci, Boyz II Men, All 4 One. But some hitters though.



32. Hi-Five


Too bad Tony Thompson died too soon. But this group had some great R&B sounds.



31. Donnell Jones


He just reminds us of another person on this list, that we will mention further down in their R&B hits.



30. Shanice


Early 90's was her game! She has since made a couple of albums, but the amount of noise she made during the early 90's was unforgettable.



29. Karyn White


She had such a distinct voice to us that made her music videos worth watching and her songs in our ears.





28. Shai


Another 90's group that was overshadowed by the dominance of Boyz II Men and Jodeci.


Lay down and tell me what's on your mind?

27. The Spinners


This group had a couple of very suprisingly delectable jams in the 70's and even the 80's. Plus their famous I'll Be Around has been sampled by so many artists that it keeps their group alive today.



26. SWV


Very underappreciated. The first truly beautiful trio of ladies who took your heart away with their beauty and voices. They were some down ass chicks though too, never making a quite revealing video like most groups today.



25. Bryan Adams


This Canadian has made a few great love songs in our time. Well worthy of an underrated stamp because not a lot of people knew about him.



24. Tony Toni Tone


What a group in the 90's. They had so many hits that has taken over our I-Pods. Truly a timeless group!





23. Mint Condition


Another one of those groups that went under the radar in the 90's. They made some beautiful music



22. Deborah Cox


She beautiful, sexy and has an underrated voice and sound perfect for the NCV



21. Hieroglyphics


Made a lot of noise in the hip hop game. Mostly in the west coast but their flow is absolutely terrific



20. Joe
">

This was who Donnell Jones reminded me of. His jams always stood out in our minds. What a fantastic artist!



19. Talib Kweli


Right now he's blowin' up, but in our minds he's always one of the most underrated rappers out there.







18. Redman


This guy has made a lot of jams during his time. A lot of it once again was overshadowed either by Method Man or just other rappers who got more play in general.



17. Monica


She peaked in our opinion in the mid to late 90's putting out hit after hit.



16. Sade


What a voice! Her slow jams just make me want to relax and fall asleep during a nice evening.



15. 112


This group was out there in an era where a lot of these R&B groups were making a return.



14. Maxwell


His sound is breathtaking. You can't have an R&B mix without any one of his songs.



13. Mya


She is one of those artists that we all knew about but seemed like she just made hits just to get by. To us she was one of those who was just one smash away from stardom.





12. Hall and Oates


Classic group! Their sound compliments them. Plus I kill Sarah Smile on the karaoke.



11. Musiq Soulchild


An R&B gem! Everything about him is gold to us. His music, his lyrics and his harmony.






10. Jagged Edge


In our opinion they brought back the classic R&B group that Jodeci left behind. Their songs were truly unforgettable in our minds.



9. Ginuwine


He's the ultimate in many hits but was just lacking that one that puts him through the roof.



8. Xscape


They were our favorite/ultimate R&B underrated group in the 90's. From a Period from the early to late 90's where they dominated!



7. Tamia


Our girl has to be in this list. Lost in the popularity of Beyonce, Rihanna, Mariah Carey etc was our favorite underrated star. Love ya baby!


Everyone go ahead and stop the countdown so you can watch.

6. The Cure


Set the tone for all emo bands!



5. The Roots


They are standards in our opinion on a versatile group. Hip hop, rock and roll and just being able to change things up.



4. The Stylistics


This group influenced a lot of artists and used a lot of their sounds in their music.



3. Weezer


This group was lost in the lore of Blink 182, Smashing Pumpkins, Matchbox 20, Hootie and Blowfish as one who made such a great impact in rock in the 90's.



A shoutout to our homies The Legion Of Doom and their classic Rockband version of Say It Ain't So


2. Kool and the Gang


Your parties are not the same without their sounds. Plus there are numerous artists that have sampled their magic and have succeeded.







1. El Debarge


The Ultimate in Underrated. Take a minute to think back to when you were listening to the radio and a song pops on and you didn't know the artist. Well that's how we all felt and El Debarge was the artist on a majority of those songs.