Thursday, April 3, 2008

Roasted Three: Brandon Tagupa, Chris Dumadag and Zack Cervantes

This is a combined roast of three members of the Nation of Domination: Brandon, Chris and Zack. Credit the Smash Bros, Mark D for the pics and the brilliant photoshops. Boogie and Tino aren't as good with words, so they pretty much want to let everyone know their feelings about them by way of pictures... Let's get started shall we?

The Bushwhackers

Brandon and His Goku Haircut


Old School Moustache Crew

Brandon Always Fighting With Michelle

This pic is hands down the best! We can't stop laughing at this!

Make Sure You Answer Brandon's Calls Or He'll Text You This

Brandon Loves To Dance Tahitian

Before Chris Had The Zoolander Cut He Had The Bowl Cut

WOW! For the first time, we are speechless!

Chris and His Home Alone Impression

Chris Still Had The Zoolander Haircut Back In The Day

Chris Doing The Chicken Dance

Chris's Favorite Dance

And now Shanezoola's Roast Of Zachary Cervantes...

This boy used to be a big kid, now he's a big buff kid. No matter what though, he's always been a cool dude. Just don't get him mad, or else he'll end up lookin' like the Incredible Hulk...


But even though as a kid, he mighta had a potty mouth as a kid because according to his sister (my reliable source) at their grandfather's funeral, Zachary (then 2 years old) grabbed his grandfather's hand and started yelling FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK in front of everyone! Let's assume that was the first time he was thrown out of a place.

The same can be said for another incident where Zack fell and hit his head on the fireplace bricks causing his head to be cut. While at the urgent care, and head bleeding he began doin' it again... "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" he yells much to the dismay of his mom and sister. This boy either has tourettes or is retarded? If I was a betting man, I would all put my money on "NOT TOURETTES."

Almost as angry as the Warrior!

mdoomadag (9:48:10 PM): Yo... I really don't have much to say other than. My graduation + 15 SHOTGUNNED BEERS + L&L HAWAIIAN BBQ = ZACK YACKING IN A FUCKING DIXIE CUP!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. To this day... I have no idea how he fit so much vomit in one dixie cup!!! Oh and how about when this fool showed my mom the nipple after he got done throwing up. FUCKING CLASSIC. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MAN... And here's to hoping you don't need a dixie cup tomorrow at Chitiva's!!

The final story takes the damn cake. On one of Zack's drunken nights, he came home hammered and his sister heard him opening the door and suddenly the dryer started to run. Curious, Zee goes into the laundry room only to notice yellow streaks inside of the dryer. Apparently Zack opened the dryer door and peed inside and turned the heat on leaving a yellow mark that looks similar to this photo. What a bastard! No amount of Downy or Swavitel will get that stink out. You rude ass man!

I know I'm not supposed to go here next, but your special sister did consent to some of these photographs, so you can't really get mad at me, she said it was OK. We went to great lengths but just one picture stood out. It was a pic of Zee and Kyle... I'm going to hell!

1. Gotta love me with the Jew-fro
2. I look like Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro
3. I just have to play the video folks...

Tell me who wants to love me sexy?

Yo but even though we killed you with these pictures, we all got love for you, so take the time out to peep a couple of birthday wishes to you...



Before I end Zack's portion of it, Zachary Cervantes is so fly... He even has his own dance!!! Ladies and Gentlemen, the ZACK ATTACK!!!

Anyways folks, the fellas worked hard on this blog so we hope we provided you 3 as well as the people some laughs. Much credit to the Super Smash Bros, Mark Doom and the Big Show for makin' it happen. We don't mean no embarrassment, but just some laugh and we want to take the time out to say Happy Birthday(s) to you three and WE WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW!!!

No comments: